


Falling for You and Loving the Decent

by DiggaDink



Category: Berserk (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Break Up, Daddy Kink, Drugs, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Oral Sex, Slut Shaming, Unsafe Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23552725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiggaDink/pseuds/DiggaDink
Summary: Warmth. He craves warmth. Only warmth can take his mind off of Guts. He wants to be held indefinitely and told everything will be okay. He looks up at Zodd, "Maybe you can fill this hole in my heart?"
Relationships: Griffith/Guts (Berserk), Griffith/Nosferatu Zodd
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	Falling for You and Loving the Decent

Guts returns from one of his night classes soaking wet, cold, and mad at the rain. Luckily, he didn't have to walk too far. This is what he gets for not bringing an umbrella. Griffith texts him to come down to the pool on the first floor. The apartment was just down the street from the university's main campus. It was Friday night and the majority of the residents in this apartment are rowdy college students, so almost everyone was at the pool. He's not much of a people person, but Griffith convinces him to come anyways. Guts returns to his own room on the third floor to shower then heads to the ground floor.

The doors to the indoor pool didn't even open all the way before he's already greeted with the smell of weed. It was an impressively sized pool, but hardly anyone was in it. People were littered in the hallway, along the sides of the pool to dip their legs in, chatting, drinking, smoking, and dancing to the music. Bringing alcohol to the pool was against the rules, but since there was no lifeguard, or other staff present, they can get away with it so long as nobody snitches.

"Guts!" He heard Griffith call out over the music, he's expectantly surrounded by people, specifically, girls. Everyone liked him and he had many friends, he was attractive and sweet. Part of him wants to push all these women away. Griffith was his and he'll be damned if anyone tries to put the moves on him. When he hugs him, he wraps his arms securely around him to make a statement, "Was starting to think you got swept away out there." Griffith jokes. Judging by the redness in his face, he was already starting to buzz. 

Guts adds a quick peck to his cheek for good measure, "Getting drunk without me?" 

"Yeah, sort of." He giggled. He held a blunt in his left hand. Griffith must've spotted him staring at it, "Oh, did you wanna hit this?" He offers. 

Guts shakes his head, "Maybe later." He responds.

Griffith glances to the nearby cooler, "Could I get you a beer maybe?"

"Sure." Guts watched him stand up and make his way over to the cooler, returning with a cold can of beer in his hand, "What's this party for, anything special?"

He pulls the tab off the beer can while Griffith sits down in his chair, "Nothing really. Or actually, maybe just because we made it another semester." Griffith curls his lips to have a swing of his blunt and exhale the smoke through his nose, "I really needed something like this."

"Guts, hi!" Casca chimes in, "I for sure thought you wouldn't come." She said as she swam to the edge of the pool, "Friday night classes." She jokingly makes a sound of disgust.

"I got soaked out there, I knew I should've bought an umbrella." Guts complained.

Griffith wraps an arm around him, "Well, you made the walk back here unharmed, and you look like you need to get drunk."

And get drunk he did. He played beer pong with some loud ass frat boys, got hit on a few times, got grinded on by Griffith when they danced, made out with him, and took a long drag off of his blunt. Their dance was so sensual, Griffith just had to go overboard with it and make him get hard in the middle of the crowd. It's time they head upstairs and continue this but with no clothes.

Just when he and Griffith were going to retreat back upstairs to his apartment, the party ended abruptly at around midnight. People were threatening to call the police because of the noise. The moment someone ran in and mentioned "Cops" everyone bailed.

Guts follows Griffith back to his apartment on the sixth floor. He lies down in the middle of his bed, "Did you have a good time?" Griffith asked, joining him at his side.

"Yeah, it was great." Guts replies. He wraps his arm around Griffith's shoulders and pulls him in closer, "Come here, I want you."

Griffith smirks, "I know you do, you've been wanting me since our dance, and yes, I felt it pressing on me."

"Don't act like you didn't initiate that. You knew exactly what you were doing. Oh, the things you do to me." He pulls him onto his lap and kisses him and Griffith guides his hands to his ass. The first time they fucked, they were just best friends at the time, high and spaced out in Guts' apartment. Griffith went down on him and that's when Guts discovered he was a God at giving head. Morning after, Griffith was all over him, always holding his hand, showing affection, always wanting to spend more time together and go on dates. Guts asked him out, may as well, it's what he would've wanted, they were both single, and Griffith was gorgeous. The second time they fucked, they were halfway asleep after binge-watching shitty, low-budget horror films on the carpeted floor of Griffith's room, partially drunk off of cheap wine. Griffith had initiated everything that night. It all started with him teasingly pressing the heel of his foot on Guts' crotch.

Griffith seductively bit his lower lip and felt on his chest to pinch his nipples through his shirt. Guts would never admit it, but he liked having his nipples toyed with. Guts took this moment to kiss on his neck, he knew that was his weak spot. It's strange to think they went from a fling amongst best friends to this.

He wakes up in Griffith's bed. He's not sure who fucked who last night, but judging by the lack of pain in his ass, he must've topped. Guts rolled over and felt the other side of the bed. Griffith was gone. On his way out, he found him cooking breakfast, simple egg, cheese, and sausage on an English muffin. Guts notices the slight waddle in his step, "Morning," He greets, "I made one for you if you want it." He always made these and they were delicious. Seriously, how can Griffith go from shitfaced drunk last night, riding his dick like it was the only thing he knew how to do to glowing the next morning like nothing happened? Meanwhile, Guts' stomach still burns from the alcohol and his head hurts. Griffith turned around to face him. He was wearing a simple tank top and loose sweatpants, hickeys littered along the pale skin of his neck.

"Thanks." Normally, he leaves the morning after. Before Griffith wakes up and things could get awkward. He was his boyfriend, yet when it's like this, he feels so distant from him. Perhaps it's his fault for asking him out and letting things get serious, he should've just let their relationship stay as friends with benefits, "Actually, I should be going."

"So soon? You don't want your food?" He felt bad for letting it go to waste.

He answers, "No, I don't really have an appetite."

Griffith sighs, "You know, I've been thinking about us. I don't know if it's just the way you are but I don't like it. You're so distant, too distant. Is it me, did I do something to make you mad?" Guts never thought of it, but he has been growing apart from him, "Is it someone else? Do you not love me anymore? Maybe I'm too clingy."

"No, no, there's nobody else." He reassures, "I swear, I only loved you."

"Loved?" He repeats, "Do you really? I can't tell because you have a funny way of showing it." Griffith frowns, "I don't think you never really loved me. I was always hesitant to confront you about this but I can't stay silent any longer, I'm sick of it. You never want to spend any time together and I'm always the one to initiate everything, but when it comes to sex, you're all over me." It tore him up inside to hear him call him out like this, "You'll happily initiate that without second thought, huh?" He adds.

Guts feels like he's being stabbed, like a blade pierced through his midsection and out his back. He has been doing this the whole time and not even realizing it, "I- Griffith, I never intended on things getting serious in the first place."

He turns his back on him, "Then why did you ask me out?"

"Because I felt like it would satisfy you, you were always affectionate with me and it didn't feel right to lead you on." Was Guts' answer.

Griffith's gaze falls to the floor, "Well, I'm touched you thought about me and what I wanted, but was dating me something you really wanted?" He couldn't answer that, mostly because the answer was no, "I see, you just wanted someone to fuck." When he put it like that, it made him feel even worse. Good, he should feel bad for what he did.

"We can still be friends." Guts proposed.

Griffith nods, "Okay." He flashes a fake smile. Guts could always tell when he got upset, no matter how hard he grins and tries to hide it behind a mask. The way he no longer makes eye contact, the way his ears and face turn red, the way the pitch in his voice deepens, and the way he always tries to insist he's fine, "You can go, you said you needed to leave, right? It's my fault for rushing things and thinking about me rather than you." Griffith's voice cracks, "Don't worry about the food, I can just give that to Zodd, I'm sure he'll eat it." 

Guts' heart sank as soon as he mentioned that name. As if things couldn't get even more awkward and worse. There he was, conveniently opening the door from his room and stepping into the common area. Guts couldn't stand this guy and he was part of the reason why he never joined the weightlifting team, because this mother fucker was the captain. Something about him he didn't like, definitely didn't like him around Griffith. The two were roommates and have probably fucked in the past, long before Guts had him. Damn, why should he care? Holding possession over someone he just dumped. Guts almost gives himself premature wrinkles with how hard he frowns at Zodd on his way out to the door.

Griffith waves him goodbye when the door shuts behind him. Really, he should've taken Griffith as his own roommate a long time ago just so he doesn't have to see that asshole every time he comes over. They were inseparable and they met during his first year in college. He didn't have any friends, save for his dumb roommate who was sloppy and always drinking and talking shit. Corkus was his name. He got his degree and graduated and Guts had a new roommate, a kid named Rickert, fresh outta high school and yet he still looks like a child. Despite not having any friends back then, Griffith did something for him he'll never forget. They sat next to each other in Humanities and he struggled on the midterm, Griffith let him cheat off his quizz. He's always been bad at big quizzes, but he saved his ass from failing that course. He was his best friend, then he fucked his best friend. That's when mistakes were made, he should've never slept with him, maybe all this would've been avoided and Griffith would've never grown attached to him. Guts leans against the wall of the elevator. He hates how it came boiling down to this, damn, since he dumped Griffith, who's to say that asshole Zodd isn't going to hop on him?

"What's wrong, what's with that face?" Zodd asked, "Wait, was that your boyfriend?"

"My ex boyfriend." He corrects, "He- we just broke up."

Zodd raises his brows. This came as a surprise to him, "Did he say why?"

"It's complicated." Griffith sighs, "I think I was being too clingy and I never gave him any space, then he told me he never intended on things getting this serious. So basically what he means by that is, he didn't love me like I loved him and he never did, he would've preferred we stay as fuck buddies."

"What? But that doesn't really make any sense, if he didn't love you, then why did he ask you out in the first place? What was the point?" Zodd questioned.

Griffith blinks away the stinging sensation that comes with tears threatening to spill, "I don't know! He did not want to lead me on so he only did it to make me feel better and give me what I wanted, not what he wanted." He sobs, "I rushed things, I made him feel pressured into dating me. Maybe I deserve this."

"No you don't." Zodd sits on a stool at the island.

"W-What should I do?" Griffith stutters

"If I were you, I wouldn't say or do anything to him." He takes a bite out of the breakfast muffin, "Hm, this is really good."

Griffith scrubs a dirty skillet clean, "But then that makes it seem like I'm avoiding him, then that'll really fuck things up. He told me we can still be friends."

"Then go catch up with him." He points at the door.

"No, no. I can't do that, that'll really make me look desperate." Hell, maybe he was desperate. Being too quick to latch on and fall in love with anyone who treats him right, "I want to get a proper answer from him. He never answered me when I asked him if he loved me."

"You asked him that and he didn't respond?" Griffith shakes his head, "Then his silence is your answer."

It's been a full month. They haven't spoken at all. Griffith brings his contact up on his phone and when he's ready to type a simple "Hello" his thumb refuses to touch the H key. He misses him, it hurts to know how badly their relationship ended. It all happened so fast and it all came crumbling down even faster. He wonders if Guts misses him too.

Guts didn't want to admit it to anyone else, but he has been avoiding Griffith. When he sees him walking to class, he turns the other way, when he sees him enter the gym, he immediately leaves, when he sees him walk into the main courtyard of the campus, he hides behind a tree. They should really talk about this, he shouldn't keep running away. They were best friends once, but now they don't speak anymore. Griffith is beautiful and Guts is sexually attracted to him, who isn't? Yet when it comes to getting serious with him, it has him wanting to run away. That sounded insulting, makes it seem like Griffith is only a pretty face to be fucked and nothing else, but that's the only way he can view him. It's the truth and it's something he can't admit to his face.

He seeks out Casca to vent his frustration. He finds her on campus in the spectator balcony, overlooking the pool. Why did he ask her to meet him here? Maybe it was a habit, as he would sometimes come to the swim meets and cheer Griffith on. He was on the team, but he skipped practice today and Guts feels partially responsible.

When she arrives, she's there to listen to him vent and complain. Guts feels pathetic and he feels bad for putting Casca through this shit.

"Well, if you didn't love him, then you made the right decision to tell him." She said, "Better than going out with him and settling down when you never wanted it in the first place, living a lie."

Guts pinches the bridge of his nose, "I just. I hurt him. Really bad. You should've seen his face the moment I told him how I felt, I regretted ever opening my damn mouth."

"You were better off telling him that, I know if it were me, I'd rather have my feelings hurt than being with someone who doesn't really love me like I love them." Casca reassures, "But you're fucking things up by avoiding him and refusing to talk to him. Now you're making the strain worse, you claimed you can still be friends, yet you're making no attempt to go back to normal." She scolds, "You really suck at this, you know?"

Guts waves her off, "I'm not good with long-term relationships, never was. This has never happened to me before. I guess I viewed him as a hole rather than a person." He admits.

"And that's your problem." She added, "The last time you spoke to him, you probably ran away and made him hate you or hate himself." Guts looks away and towards the diving half of the arena. Half of the stadium was used for the olympic-sized pool for the swim team and the other half was used for the diving team with their simple squared pool, deep in depth, "Even if you don't love him, at least try to fix things. You're making a mess out of your friendship, you guys used to be inseparable and now you act like you don't want to be seen in the same room together."

Guts looked down at his phone after it vibrates, "He texted me, he said good morning."

"I think you guys need to talk. Face to face, not over the phone. This isn't the fifth grade." She jokes, "Go to him."

Griffith thinks about texting him again, to ask why didn't he reply back and why is he avoiding him. He managed to work himself into sending a "Good morning" text, but he was left on read for over thirty minutes and that's it. It isn't even morning. Zodd was so kind as to bring him some sashimi and sweet mango sake from his favorite sushi restaurant to cheer him up but he lost his appetite. Griffith only managed to eat one slice of fish. He hasn't even touched the bottle of sake. He only stares at the piece of squid he held between his chopsticks. Most of the soy sauce dripped off and onto the marble of the island.

"Alright," Zodd snatches the phone out of his hand, "That's enough."

"Hey!" Griffith protests, "Give it back!" He attempts to reach for it, but Zodd was taller. Way taller. He simply holds it over his head and out of reach, "Zodd please stop. This isn't funny."

"I'm not trying to make it funny. You need to stop staring at this phone, expecting a response. He's not going to reply to you, alright?" His words sound harsh, but it's the truth. Sometimes the only way to get the point across is to tell it like it is, "I'm sick of seeing you like this." He places the phone on top of the fridge and ushers Griffith to the couch, "What can I do to make you feel better? I got you your favorite food, didn't I? I see it didn't do anything."

"You can start by giving me back my phone." He gets up, only to be shoved back down on the couch.

Zodd stands over him, "Except for that, you need to put that fucking phone down because it's not helping." Griffith looks away and crosses his arms, ignoring him and saying nothing, "I can do this all day." Zodd crosses his arms in response just to mock him and for emphasis, "I'm trying to help you out here, Griffith. Why won't you let me?"

Griffith sighs and gives in, "I don't know what you can do," Ever since his separation from Guts, he's suddenly felt so cold, hollow, and lonely. Lonely. That word sticks in the back of his mind. He never thought he'd ever feel this way. He's got plenty of friends, people text him to check up on him all the time, but without Guts he feels so alone and blue. Warmth. He craves warmth. Only warmth can take his mind off of Guts. He wants to be held indefinitely and told everything will be okay. He looks up at Zodd, "Maybe you can fill this hole in my heart?"

Zodd raises a brow, "Meaning?"

Griffith frowns, "You know what the hell I mean." He refuses to look him in the eye and just admit it no matter how much Zodd presses on and demands an explanation.

It clicks and Zodd checks him out, glaring at him up and down and smirking, "I don't have a problem with that at all, pretty little thing."

Hearing him say that shouldn't make his face heat up, but it does. Many people were afraid of Zodd. He was huge, considered "Unattractive" by many, had devilish eyes, and had an under-bite, "I've-I've always sort of found you attractive, no matter what everyone else thinks."

Zodd places his huge hand on his cheek, "Alright, fine. I get it, you've dropped your hint." 

He pulls off his shirt and Griffith took this moment to stare at his physique, swearing "God damn" under his breath. Zodd gets on his knees in front of him and leans in to kiss him but Griffith turns his head away, "Zodd, wait-" he puts his hands out, but he doesn't stop him. He instead kisses his exposed neck. The feeling of lips upon his neck makes him melt and his skin erupt in goosebumps as his body shivers at the contact. He tilts his head to expose more of his neck and the same hands that tried to push him away pulls him in.

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Zodd working himself in his hand and he eyes his cock through his shorts, "Wanna touch it? It won't bite, don't be scared." He guides Griffith's hand from his chest to his crotch, "Do you want this? Push me away if you don't." Griffith's only response is to grip him tighter within his palm, "Yeah, I knew you'd want it." Zodd smirks.

Griffith feels how big he is, how heavy and large his balls are within his palm. He pulls his impressive length out, "Fuck." His gaze shamelessly shifted downwards to stare. Zodd's cock is already leaking messily into his palm. He wants to lick it all up, he licks his lips at the sight. 

Zodd must've understood what he wanted and stands up, "I see you want a quick taste." He teases. Huge hands fall into his hair and fingers card through his white strands. No pressure and no pushing on his head. He pulls his hair out of the way and holds it firmly within his hands as a messy ponytail. Griffith leans in to lick on his tip. His own length hardens in his pants as he takes him as deep as he could and fondle his balls, "Damn, who taught you that?" He moans. Griffith strokes what couldn't fit in his mouth, which was most of it.

He gags and quickly pulls off, "It's so wide." His watery blue eyes stare up at him as he licks the underside then suck on his balls. 

Zodd chuckles, "You took it so well, though." 

Griffith felt a sense of pride, paying special attention to his balls, Guts always liked it when he licked and sucked on them. He especially liked it when he fondled them while sucking him off, "I know something else you'll like." It's his turn to smirk at Zodd.

He attempts another try at deep throating him. Griffith holds off his gag reflex, shutting his eyes and focusing. When he starts a rhythm, he hears Zodd release a pleasured sigh and feels the muscles in his thighs flex when he thrusts down his throat. It was very slight, but Griffith felt it nonetheless. He takes him down to the base and swallows, "God dammit." Zodd swears under his breath. Suddenly, the hands in his hair grips tight and holds his head in place. Griffith knew what was coming, when Zodd pulled away and left the tip in, he took this moment to suck in air and hold it. Then he's thrusting back in. It starts off shallow and slow, but then picks up in pace. Wet suckling noises fill the room of the common area, it's music to Zodd's ears, "Look at me." He said. Griffith opens his eyes, "You look so beautiful like this." He purrs, voice cracking. Griffith knows he's going to spill and he moans around him, "Swallow it all." He holds his head down at the base when he cums.

He's always liked it when Guts fucked his throat and finished in his mouth. Griffith eagerly swallows as best he could before Zodd pulls away. He sucks in air and chokes as he strokes himself to completion on his tongue. Griffith catches his breath and continues to suck on his tip and lick him clean. Zodd pulled him away by his hair and got on his knees in front of him. His entire body shudders as lips and teeth scrape along his neck and he spreads his legs on instinct, "It's so fat, it'll tear me in half." Griffith jokes. Guts was longer, but Zodd was thicker, "I'll probably bleed a little for sure."

Zodd leans over him after stripping him of his clothes, "Nah, I'll prep you up nice and slow, don't you worry your pretty little head over it." Griffith feels him teasing his tip on his tight entrance.

"Please be gentle?" He asks, gasping at the feeling of it catching on his rim.

"I will, I promise." His torso is so wide, Griffith feels like he's doing a split when he tries to wrap his legs around his waist. Zodd leaves him for a moment to step away, "I may not actually be Guts, but temporarily, I can be with this." He holds up a red bandanna and blindfolds him with it, "Now I'm him, just imagine him in my place and tell me what he used to do to you. I'll try not to make a sound so I don't ruin the immersion." Griffith silently nods as Zodd tenderly strokes his cheek and then runs his fingers through his hair.

When his slicked up finger penetrates him, he bites his lip and clenches tight around the intrusion, "Relax." Zodd whispers in his ear.

When he slowly enters his depths, Griffith locks up and shouts. Zodd's lips kiss his cheek, until he eventually presses in as far as he could go, or rather, as deep as Griffith's ass will take him. It hurts. The amount of time Zodd spent carefully prepping him helped, but it still hurt. He tells Zodd to slow down when he started thrusting too fast and too soon. Tells him to pull out more because he's in painfully too deep. It'll take a moment until he gets used to his girth. Griffith was more accustomed to length not width. Zodd's tender caress and his warmth helped him relax.

Griffith releases a whimper of pleasure and arches his back, "Pull my hair." He commands. Zodd does as told, "Slap my ass." Zodd does as told, "Put your hand here, don't squeeze." Griffith guides his hand to his throat. Zodd wants to pound him as hard as he could muster, but holds back, simply because he might hurt him. His dick can't even fully fit inside of him, there's still slack left behind whatever he bottoms out. He bites down on his own lip to quiet himself. Griffith reached back to spread his own cheeks and Zodd watches his wide length sink into his puckered ass each thrust, "Fuck!" Griffith swore, "It's so big." Zodd felt him tighten up around his cock as he cums, "Ah- oh my God, I'm cumming, Guts!" Griffith sounded like he's crying at this point. Zodd leaned over his back and pressed his face into the nape of his neck, "Bite me there, not too hard." He pushes long, white hair out of the way to bite his neck.

Zodd felt it, the sudden burst of warmth in the base of his cock, "Where do you want it?" He asks, his hips falling uneven in rhythm.

"Inside, give it to me deep." Griffith squeaks out, managing to cum a second time, it makes his thighs quake and toes-curl with its intensity. He feels Zodd huff loudly against the back of his neck and his hips falter as warmth suddenly fills his depths.

He heard his phone vibrate from its location on top of the fridge, but Zodd made him ignore it by hitting him with a hard thrust.

Guts texted him, "We need to talk in person, I'm on the way." He steps off the elevator, glancing down at his phone. No response yet, not even marked as read. He knocks on the door.

"Fuck, who the hell is that?" Zodd looked at the door and stood up. Griffith gets off the couch to hide himself, he's naked and too fucked up to talk to anyone right now, it's better to stay out of sight. Zodd puts his pants back on and opens the door.

Guts frowns, "Oh. It's you. Shirtless."

"Yeah. What of it?" Zodd answers.

"Where's Griffith, I need to talk to him." Guts almost pushes past him.

Zodd blocks the doorway before stepping out and shutting the door behind him, "He's not here right now."

"Really? Well, may I wait inside until he comes back?" Guts requests.

"No." Zodd sternly replies.

Guts sighs, "You're real defensive, huh?" He isn't stupid, they were so fucking just now. It's painfully obvious. Guts feels overwhelming anger fueled by jealousy and betrayal in his stomach. He feels hurt, neglected that he was tossed out and forgotten about so fast, "Well, tell him I said he moves on fast. He's skilled, isn't he? I hope you enjoyed him." With that, he storms off.

"You bet your ass I did." Zodd snaps back, "You had your chance and you threw him away, now you got the nerve to come crawling back. Talk about kicking yourself. He's mine now, just got done emptying my balls in him, fucked him better than you ever could and I was holding out, not giving him my all." And that sentence alone felt like salt on an open wound. His fist balls up, prepared to punch.

"You know what? Have at it, I'm not going to fight you over a whore." He's going to be the bigger and better person and walk away. Guts flips him off as the elevator doors shut, "Enjoy my sloppy seconds."

"I will. Gladly." Zodd flips him off as well, "I'm gonna tell him you said that you piece of shit."

Zodd steps back inside, "It was Guts, wasn't it?" Griffith asked.

"Yeah," Zodd glanced at the phone in his hand, "He knows about us now, and he's not happy."

Griffith only looks down at the text message on his phone, "I know. As if things weren't already messed up, I just made everything worse. Worse enough for him to call me a whore." He could barely finish his sentence before the onslaught of tears overwhelms him.

Zodd hugs him, "Don't worry about him. Funny how he told you off and now all of a sudden when you're trying to get over it, he wants to come back but also has the audacity to call you that. God forbid you make an attempt at moving on. What a child." Griffith only hugs him back and sobs into his chest, "Just stay with me, I can give you what he couldn't." He felt some guilt within him, was he moving on too quickly? Is he really a whore for doing so? Guts wanted to talk, but he never gave him that chance, too busy taking it up the ass from someone else. If he doesn't hate him already, then he surely hates him and Zodd now.

Griffith buries his face into his chest, "My first mistake was sleeping with you, I should've never made you do that."

"Hey, you didn't make me do anything, alright, I agreed to that." He reassures. Zodd walks him to his bedroom and seats him on the foot of the bed, "Look, I may not look very friendly, but I am a great friend, I did that to try to make you feel better because you looked like you needed it." Griffith only nods, "How was I, was I at least good for you? Did I give you some form of relief?"

"Yes, actually. You were great." He grins despite the tears running down his cheeks, "Since Guts hates me, I wouldn't mind doing that again." 

Zodd smiles back at him and swipes away a tear on his cheek with his thumb, "I will do this for you for as long as you want me to. Until you tire and tell me to stop."

He wants to punch something, to hit someone and that someone is Zodd. The nerve of that fucker, rubbing it in his face like that. Guts sighs, now back on the third floor. Why Zodd of all people, the guy was absolutely hideous and Griffith was too beautiful and perfect for him. He's unfit and undeserving to have someone like Griffith. He told Griffith he didn't love him, called him a whore, but seeing him with someone else enraged him far beyond what he thought he was capable of. He didn't know why, why was he feeling frustration and possession over someone he no longer had claim over? Guts considers telling Casca what happened, but he puts it off. Maybe later. "Could really use a nap." He thought, turning the keys to his apartment. Inside the common area was Rickert and some hulking man, "Hey, Guts!" He heard him greet from the couch. Rickert was playing some sort of online first person shooter while the other quietly watched. Whatever character he was playing as could fly and he managed to make her fall off the map by getting distracted and she screams while she falls to her death. That's what Guts feels like right about now, "Aw, dammit!" Rickert swears and glanced down at the controller, "Anyway, did you meet Pippin? He's my best friend." "No, I haven't." Guts flatly answers and he fumbles with his keys to unlock the door to his room. His character respawns and he flies her out of the spawn room, firing rockets down on red-outlined enemies below, "You sound pissed, what's wrong?" He swings his door open, "I don't wanna talk about it." He shuts the door behind him. 

It's dark, no, there's light. Just barely there but it's off in the distance. Where is he? Is this the void of hell? If it is, maybe he deserves it. He spots Griffith bathed underneath that light, but every time he calls out and tries to get closer, he only moves farther away and out of reach. He has his back turned to him and won't reply to him, Guts isn't sure if he's ignoring him or can't hear him. This darkness never seems to end. It's like one of those surreal dreams where he's running up an endless flight of stairs. Guts catches his breath from running and he spots Griffith again just up ahead. He isn't alone this time. Guts gets closer, he's on his knees facing him and someone is behind him. Of course. It's that fucker, Zodd. He can't see his face, thankfully, but it's his silhouette no doubt.

"Get the fuck off of him!" Guts charges, only to trip and fall down over seemingly nothing.

"It's okay, Guts. I want this." He hears him whimper. Zodd's red eyes glow and bore into him whilst he thrusts into Griffith. Guts wants to hit him, wants to kick him off and stomp him out. His huge silhouette leans forward into the light and Guts can see his face now, he hates how he makes direct eye contact and smirks at him, tenderly leaning down to kiss on Griffith's cheek. He hears Griffith moan out Zodd's name, watches his back arch when his arms give out, hears him beg to be fucked harder. Guts bit his tongue and looked away in defeat.

He awakens in his bed. Heart racing and breathing heavily. A nightmare. Was he really this insecure that his mind had to conjure up something like that? Apparently.

They've grown closer this past month, Zodd and Griffith. Two months after their ugly breakup and Griffith has moved on. He only hopes Griffith is happy, maybe he is better off without him. Guts hates it and he hates Zodd even more. Seeing them together brings his blood to a boil. He rolls his eyes so hard, they hurt when he spotted the two leaving a lecture hall together and holding hands. Almost made his fist ball up so tight around his smoothie that the paper cup would've bursted and made a mess. He angrily sips on the straw and glares back down at his laptop on the table. Griffith is so short compared to him, then again, everyone was short compared to Zodd. He was so barbaric, always looked pissed off. Then there was Griffith, so pretty, graceful, elegant holding hands with that beastly animal. He was happy about something, he had a skip to his step and a smile on his face as he led Zodd behind him. Like Beauty and the Beast, behind every beautiful woman is her ugly ass savage boyfriend. It reminded him a lot of their relationship. Guts wouldn't consider himself ugly, but he lookedna hell of a lot better than Zodd. He was the complete opposite of Griffith. Like night and day. 

"Damn." Casca was behind him. She scared the hell out of him, "That must hurt, huh?"

"Can you at least let me know when you're behind me?" Guts sighs.

Casca elbows his back, "If I hadn't known any better, I'd say you're jealous as hell and now you miss him." He didn't know how much he meant to him until he let him go. When he flies away with someone else, Guts wants to bring him back down to earth and keep him all for himself, but that feels too wrong and selfish. Griffith looks so happy now, he can't just take that away from him. If Guts goes out of his way to break them up, what would that make him? A jealous selfish asshole that's what.

"Me? No, what gave it away?" He bitterly chuckles, "I'm glad he's moving on and I'm glad I get to see this."

Casca cringes, "I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know the last time you came into contact with them, it didn't end well and I still feel at fault." She admits, "I encouraged you into going to talk to him and you unknowingly almost walked in on them fucking. What a kick to the face, huh?" "I haven't been completely honest with you, but I think Griffith hates me and I'm sure Zodd is in his head, turning him against me too. You know he's never texted me at all these two months." Casca seats herself on the other side of the table, "You think he hates you, why?" Guts sighs, hesitant to tell her but conjures up the will, "I got into an argument with Zodd when I got there. He was rubbing the fact he fucked him in my face, I wanted to hit him but I held off. I called Griffith a whore, said he wasn't worth fighting over and I know that bull-dog faced prick told him I said that about him." "Now why would you call him a whore?" Guts sighs and shrugs, "Damn, if you're going to diss your ex that you're trying to make amends with, don't say it to their face or one of their friends. C'mon. What is wrong with you?" Guts shuts his laptop, "I'm an idiot. I was pissed. I let my anger get the better of me. I said something I'd regret." "If you said that with such confidence. You must really think he's a whore and he's always been to you." "No, no!" Guts rubs his hands over his face, "I-I didn't mean it. You know what happens when you get so pissed, you say stuff you don't mean just out of spite?" Casca leans back in her chair, "Said it once and I'll say it again. You suck at this." "I don't know if we can ever be friends again. I fucked up everything. I don't even know if I want to be friends with him, knowing that he regularly sucks face with that gross fiend." Guts' fists ball up in anger, "I don't want to be a third wheel. I'll feel like a pathetic cuck for sure." "If you can't see yourself being friends with him again, then don't. Don't put yourself through that, it'll make recovering even harder. Just like ripping a scab off your own wound, do that and you'll reopen it and it'll heal slower." "Ew." Casca chuckles, "In this case, trying to force yourself to be friends with him again when you don't want that will reopen your wound when you're already trying to heal. Maybe cutting ties will be for the best. This is causing you a lot of stress. I'm sorry this is happening to you." 

"No, no don't be sorry for me. I did this to myself. I dumped him, remember? I haven't spoken to him since and now he's with Zodd." Casca gets out of her chair to hug him, "What was I thinking? I need to let him go, just like he's letting me go. He's not going to come back to me for a second chance and he never will."

"I know I said ending everything will be for the best, but I still think you should apologise to him. You said something you didn't mean, remember?" Guts nods. He should go back and apologise. He doesn't know if he can work enough will within himself to look Griffith in the eye anymore after all he's did. What will he think of him? Will he even spare him the time of day? Will he slam the door in his face or refuse to open it? Has he blocked his number or deleted his number out of his phone? He still hasn't deleted their many pictures together off of his Instagram, maybe there's still a part of Griffith that is willing to listen to him. Casca grabs his arm, "You look like you need food, let's go eat. Maybe you're just in your feelings because you're hungry."

It's been another month and Griffith feels significantly better. Before, he used to keep his back to Zodd whenever they fuck, but now he proudly faces him. He quit wearing the blindfold and stopped moaning Guts' name. Instead of imagining Guts in his place, he only sees Zodd. He should really do something for him, he deserves it. Slan would know what to do. 

He surprises him by coming to him in lingerie and rabbit ears pinned to his head. It was white with pastel pink and blue accents. Griffith sneaks into his room where he's working on an essay at his desk, typing away on his laptop, "Zodd." He pulls his wheeled chair out from under the desk and spins it around to look at him.

It takes him a moment to register, "My little Easter bunny." Zodd purrs, "Turn around, let me see the back, twirl for me. What a pleasant surprise. You look adorable." 

Griffith smiles and spins around, "Slan picked this out. She knew you'd like it."

"She was right. I love it. Come here. I got something you can sit on." Zodd beckons him over and he sits himself on his lap. He touches him all over, pinches his hardening nipples and gropes him through his panties. He flinches when he's roughly slapped on his ass. Griffith gets back at him by pressing his rear to his dick, already fully hard and pressing against him in response.

"Is that a carrot for me?" He teased.

Zodd roughly slaps his ass once more, "On your knees and open wide, little bunny it's a mouthful." Griffith wanted him to just fuck him already. That sentence. His voice. It turned him on so much. That can wait though, for now, he needs to taste it. Griffith is on his knees and stuffs his throat full with his cock, "Fuck." Zodd curses, "Why are you doing this?" He sighs, watching Griffith's head effortlessly bob up and down on his lap.

He pulls away to breathe and stroke him, "You've always been so good to me, now it's my turn to be good for you."

"You little cunning minx."

Zodd goes all out on his ass, no more holding back this time. He didn't even bother to carry him the few steps over to his bed, just pinned him down and fucked him right here on the floor. His tight little ass has gotten used to his girth at this point. Zodd hears him whimper his name for the first time, he grins and fucks him harder to hear him say it again, "Am I bigger than Guts?" Griffith could hardly form words, but he manages to nod, "Am I better than him?"

"Y-yes!" Griffith sobs.

"Best you ever had?" Griffith weakly nods, "Say it." Zodd grabs his throat and squeezes.

"Yes! The best I've ever had." He can't help but feel a sense of pride. If only Guts could see him now. Wonder what he'd say? Zodd wants to film this. Hold his phone up and fuck Griffith in first person point of view style then send it to Guts. Film the way his blue eyes widened when he strikes at his prostate and his mouth agape in pleasure. Make Griffith proudly stare at the camera while he sucks on his dick. Better yet, he wants to fuck Griffith deeply and slowly while Guts watches in person all while he taunts him. Oh, the things he could think of doing to Griffith just to spite him. He holds his left leg up and brings it over his shoulder.

The angle spears him deeper inside. Griffith strokes himself, "I'm gonna cum, fuck me harder, big daddy." First time he's ever heard him say that too. He's had his partners call him daddy before but it never really had an effect on him like it should. However, hearing Griffith sob that out set his loins ablaze. He wants him to say it again.

He releases his throat, "Want big daddy to fill you up?"

"Yes, please! B-big daddy!" Zodd sucks a dark purple hickey into his neck as he spends himself inside as Griffith strokes himself to completion. They lie like that for a moment, Zodd falling into Griffith's embrace and Griffith relishing in his warmth and afterglow, "Guts never held me like this."

"Really?" Zodd sits up, "Do you want me to stop?"

Griffith pulls him in closer, "No, I love this."

Guts typically hardly touched him like this after their coupling. Griffith would always be the one to snuggle up on him and hold him tight and Guts would never wrap his arms around him like Griffith does to him. Despite that, Guts would always find a way to slither out of his hold the morning after without waking him. Funny how he went from using Zodd to being lovey-dovey and smitten with him. Griffith used him to forget about Guts and now he's growing attached. Zodd stands up to pick up Griffith, so small within his arms, "Let's at least get in the bed, the floor is making my knees hurt."

He slowly lies the other down and takes his place next to him. Almost immediately did Griffith lay his head on his chest, "I wanna stay like this all day." Zodd heard him sigh.

"If that's what you want, then I'll hold you all day." For the first time, Griffith kisses him. Their lips lock and Zodd is stunned stupid, but lets it happen. Before their kiss could break, his hand guides Griffith in for one more quick peck, "What?" Zodd asks. His blue eyes look into his. So enraptured, enchanted, in love.

Griffith only chuckles quietly under his breath, "You'd better stop saying stuff like that or I'll mess around and really fall for you."

"What's wrong with that? You say it as if it were a bad thing." "I have a habit of growing attached. You can just ask Guts." "I don't have an issue with that. What if I want you to?" Zodd questions. Griffith's eyes widened, dumbfounded. He didn't know what to say, only growing flustered and stuttering out nonsense. Shit, how embarrassing, he was able to call him "Big daddy" a moment ago, yet fumbles on his own words now. Were they dating? Was Zodd technically his boyfriend? He doesn't know, they fuck a lot. Held hands. Yet never confirmed whether they were serious or not. He's afraid to ask, fearing it may end like how he and Guts ended.

"Zodd-" He begins.

"Before you ask, I uh." He pauses to nervously clear his throat, "Yes, I have grown quite attached to you." He admits.

"Are you sure you're in love with me or my ass?" Grinned Griffith.

"Both." Zodd answers and lightly swats his rear, "I've had many partners in the past and they didn't last long, but with you, I feel like it'll be different."

"Well," Griffith gives it a thought, "Okay, I'm willing to try this out."

"Are you sure, this isn't too soon isn't it? You're not still tender from Guts?" 

Griffith only shakes his head, "I'm okay, it's been hard, but I'm over him."

"Do you still love him?" Griffith nervously chews on the skin on the bottom of his lip from the tough question.

"I-I know I should hate him for calling me a whore." But he just can't find it within himself to do so. He still loved Guts and has never stopped.

Zodd reassures, "If you want to go back to him, it's fine. Just tell me, alright? I'll understand because, unlike Guts, I can deal with breaking up."

For some reason, that sentence made him feel bad. What if he and Guts get back together? He'll have to tell Zodd otherwise it's cheating and Griffith isn't an unloyal cheater. Then he'll have to break things off just like how Guts broke things off with him, "I won't do that to you." He kisses his cheek, "I'll never do that to you. I'll never break your heart after everything you've done for me."

Zodd's hand tenderly rubs his back and strokes through his long hair, it immediately makes him drowsy as always, "I know you won't." He actually loves it when his partner plays in his hair, "You look sleepy, get some rest."

Zodd was gone, he must've had a class to get to. Griffith stayed in his bed for a second, trying to think of what to do for the rest of the day. He considered going for a walk through the city, but it was raining. He decides to stay inside and do some homework. The lingerie he had on was littered all over the floor in parts and he had a hard time figuring out what was what when he picked their remains up.

He hears knocking on the front door. Shit. Who could that possibly be? Griffith scrambles to his own room to put some clothes on, "Griffith, I know you're there." It's Guts' voice. He hesitates opening the door, is he willing to face him yet? He isn't sure. His fingers grip the lock on the door but doesn't turn it, "I'm sorry with how things turned out and I'm sorry for calling you a whore. I wish I could take it all back." He adds, "You're such a good person, you always took care of me, but I didn't take care of you." Griffith places his hand over his mouth, "I see you've moved on with Zodd and you seem so happy with him. I wish you both well."

"Guts." He mumbles quietly.

Guts went on, "He's treating you better than I ever did and I'm glad he is. Maybe we were just never meant to be."

Then there was silence, Griffith looked through the peephole. He was gone. He leans against the door to sob quietly into his hands. Hearing Guts say "We were just never meant to be" felt like a knife to the heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways, why isn't Zodd shipped with Griffith more?
> 
> Update: Some of you might've been early enough to read the second chapter, but I deleted it. I don't think I want to put it back because someone said something kinda discouraging and mean and it made me upset.


End file.
